“Baba (in Bengali households both father and child call each other Baba), I would do everything, I will sell our house if I have to, to keep your education going.”.
Like every father in lower middle-class families, my father, what I remember of him vividly (he passed away in my early teens), used to say to me.
That one statement of my father, sealed my fate.
It ensured, like every son or daughter belong to middleclass families, I would unsuccessfully try something for most part of my life, that I was never good at, that I never liked, with the hope only to survive.
Today when I see the common wealth medal winners, the otherwise nondescript names like Achinta Seulis or Meerabai Chanus, most of them come either from poor families or rich families!
Families where fathers don’t say, “I would sell my house if I have to……..”, to their children.
In these families, the father either does not own a house to sell or does not need his house to sell to fund his children’s education.
So no such talk !!
Therefore, no burden or pressure on the children to chose one, whatsoever.
For those, who come from poor families, being poor is a blessing in disguise. They are left to fend for themselves. They have no choice but to pursue what they have to. And in the process they find their calling, albeit unknowingly.
And the rich father, knows he can afford whatever his children’s dream is, for that he does not have to sell anything, let alone house.
So, he says the famous line, “ja beta jee le apni zindegi.”.
And it’s the middle class father, who still stuck in the rut, “I will sell my kidneys….. “.
But I am wiser now.
Yesterday, when my 20 year old son, part time working with Uber Eats, delivering foods, asked me, “Baba, if I drop out of engineering now, because I really want to do something else, would you support me?”
I was very clear, “Yes, as long as you would support yourself.”.
At his age if he needs my money to stand on his own feet, than he does not deserve it.
Good thing is, he did not seem surprised.